The Different, or Part 1 of my Final Post

I've done some other reflection pieces, but just talking to my family last night over dinner (at Outback Steakhouse... welcome back to America with Australian chain food), I came to some other realizations, especially reasons why I was so excited to come back home.

This past week alone in Turkey has been very trying because being a girl travelling alone means you are a bit of a target for men (if you couldn't tell by my repeated blog posts about my interactions with them). It was also hard not knowing when your next conversation would be, and for me, being a social person, I hated thinking I wouldn't get a chance to talk to someone about my day or what I thought. The internet and instant messaging helped immensely, but it's not quite like face-to-face interaction.

Another reason that I am happy to be back in the US is the culture, especially the culture related to women. In the Middle East, in the Gulf region definitely, there is a prevalent thought that a women's sphere is the home and that the men's sphere is outside it. This leads to a wonderfully family-centric society where you only see women out and about (1) with their families or (2) shopping with their servants or friends. Arab women travelling are nearly unheard of, unless they are with their families. Women travelling (the way I did, at least, with a lot of contact with the locals) in the Middle East are another rarity. So I always stuck out.

Beside just sticking out for my actions and attitude, I stuck out in my dress. As a Western, I never had to cover my head except for inside mosques. But I still had often have my shoulders and knees covered. On hot days, it wasn't always nice. And, while dress is a personal choice, I felt like I often had to second guess what was appropriate or not: something I'm not used to doing here in the US!

Speaking of appropriate, what appropriate physical touch was vastly different too! Here, I wouldn't hesitate hugging male or female friends and shaking hands with everyone. There are couples making out in public here, so no one is going to notice a hug. Around the Middle East (with the exception of Turkey, where there was some PDA), some women didn't even want to shake hands with men. Men would walk hand in hand, as would couples, but patrolmen would find it suspicious if a couple was sitting too close, and kissing in public was out of the question. I never knew how guys interpreted the hugs I accidentally gave them either. In America, a hug pretty much means nothing but that you are friends. But in a culture where a handshake might not be allowed, a hug could get misinterpreted.

It was nice getting back to a country where I understood the language, too. In all of the countries, it was pretty easy getting around with English (or with someone who knew the language), however, I missed being able to strike up a random conversation with someone I was standing in line with. I also missed being able to listen in on conversations, understanding signs, and reading advertisements and newspapers.

However, the prevalence of English was nice, but the prevalence of American fast-food restaurants was not. I've heard that obesity and diabetes are increasing in the Middle East. They have a less active lifestyle (lots of driving and elevators) since a few months of the year it is very hot. (I still think this shouldn't affect the rest of the year when it is a wonderful time to be outside and being active!) But I think the change in diet to the new, fast, evil food that is available for delivery might have something to do with it too. I mean, really, delivery for McDonald's? And KFC, and Burger King, and every pizza place...

My final reason for wanting to go home was the difference in the culture in terms of hired labor. In Qatar, and many other Middle Eastern countries, the "haves" employ the "have-nots" as servants: nannies, drivers, cooks, maids, security guards. It is both a way to alleviate the pressures on a large household (since many have quite a handful of children) and a way to "give back" by providing people with jobs. This spreads, however, and I think has created a mentality I don't agree with. I heard from other exchange students in the dorms that their roommates didn't know how to clean. Or possibly they just felt that it was beneath them or that someone else was going to do it or they didn't want to bother themselves? Whatever the reason, many had roommates that didn't clean up after themselves to the point of neglect, with rotting food, bugs, and scummy bathrooms.

This continues into the public sector. Littering is just giving the garbage men something to clean; busing your tray in the mall is denying the workmen a job. For me, clearing your tray doesn't mean that you've taken a job. They still must empty the trash, clean the tray, wipe down the table, mop, and a million other little things. It is simply polite for me to do my small part.

Since I've listed some of the "bad" (different) things about the Middle East and its attitudes, I'll have to redeem myself (and prove that I had a wonderful time!) with another post on what I loved and wished I had back here in the States.